Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

to stir up its confidence; hut prayer is an even greater torment fo r it, as t f is prayer seems to arouse Qod to an even greater anger... The souC is draum to Qod, hut feels repulsed. A l l other sufferings and tortures in the zvorld are as nothing compared zvith this sensation into zvh-ich it has heen plunged; namely, that o f heing rejected hy Qod. Ofo one can hring it any re lie f - says Sister F au s tina impersonally - "it f in d s itse lf completely alone; there is no one to defend it. I t raises its eyes to heaven, hut is convinced that this is not fo r her - fo r her a ll is lost. I t fa lls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems that i t has lost forever the Qod it used to love so dearly... ' I f Qod zvishes to keep the sou l in such, darkness, no one zvill he ahle to give it light. I t e?qjeriences rejection hy Qod in a v iv id and terrifying manner... In the midst o f this, the ev il spirit adds to the sou l’s suffering, mocking it... "What have you go tten out o f your mor­ tifications', says Satan, "and out o f your fide lity to the rule? What use are a ll these efforts? y o u have heen rejected hy Qod!° This zvord, rejected", becomes a fire zvhich penetrates every nerve to the marrozv o f the hone. I t pierces right through her entire heing. The ordeal reaches its chma^. The sou l no longer looks fo r help anyzvhere. I t shrinks into itse lf and loses sight o f everything; i t is as though it has accepted the torture o f heing abandoned. This is a moment fo r zvhich I have no zvords. This is the agony o f the soul.' (Diary, Notebook I, para. 98). S ister F au s tina already knew th a t hum an help was insufficient. In her desperate p rostra tion she tu rned to 90