Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

the re came, more and more often, hidden stigmatic pains, of which S ister F au s tin a makes only brief mention in h e r Diary. In sim ilar suffering,month a fte r month passed. The w in ter of 1937/38 had almost gone. S ister F au s tin a was now more often in bed th an up. Bu t i t was h a rd to say to which rank of the community she was to be ascribed: the hea lthy or the sick. Her position was not clearly defined. She was officially still employed a t the gate, b u t w he ther she did the work had to depend on h e r s treng th and how she felt, for a t every request, she was dispensed. Here perhaps th e fau l t lies. I t is difficult for a sick person to estim a te his own strength properly, and decide w ha t he can and cannot do. For someone with a sensitive conscience, th is kind of situation will always give th e p a t ien t a sense of guilt: did he have the righ t not to do something? and a doubt: was he allowed to ask for a k indness or not? Additionally, S ister F au s tina had asked Je su s to give h e r s treng th only when i t was necessary, so th a t she could take p a r t in th e sp iritua l life of the community: a t leas t in the chief services and re trea ts , This th e re ­ fore gave rise to the false impression th a t h e r reserves of s treng th (which no one knew had been obtained in a supe rna tu ra l way) had been exhausted by excessive p rayer a t the cost of h e r work, which she la te r could no t do. The t ru th was inaccessible to those around her, and so th e ir judgm en t had to be m istaken . Mother Superior was still confused by the multiplication of symptoms of disease, and a t one time would order S is ter F au s tina to take more care of herself, and a t ano ther to control he rse lf and no t give in to her sufferings. “When fMother S. [Irene] visited me a zveeki ago, she said, 'you. catch every sickness, Sister, Because your system is so zveak, But that is not your fa u f t . In fa c t , i f any other sister had that same sickness, she zvould 290