Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

"‘f o r a month now, I have been feeling zvorse. "Every tine I cough I f e e l my Cungs disintegrating. I t sometimes happens that I f e e l the complete decay o f my ozvn corpse. I t is hard to egress hozv great a suffering this is. A lthough I fu l ly agree to this zvith my zvid, it is nevertheless a great suffering fo r nature, greater than earing a hair shirt or a flagellation to the point o f ,ood. I have f e l t it especiady zvhen I zvas going to the refectory. I t t o o f great effort f o r me to eat anything because fo o d made me sick. (Diary, Notebook V, para . 1428). One can imagine w ha t th is was to someone as fastidious as S is ter Fau s tina . She shuddered all over with a feeling of disgust, and, unab le to believe in it herself, tried to forget th e corpse-like odour which nausea ted and frightened her. Bu t i t was too strong to ignore, and th a t i t was rea l was soon confirmed by one of h e r companions: ‘One day, I began to doubt as to hozv it zvas possible to f e e l this continual decaying o f the body and a t the same time to be able to zvadi and zvork ... One o f the sisters came to converse zvith me. A f te r a minute or tzvo, she made a terribly zvry face and said, "Sister, I smed a corpse here, as though it zvere decaying. O hozv dreadful it is!" I sa id to her, \Do not be frightened, Sister, that smed o f a corpse comes from me. ' She zvas very surprised and sa id she could not s tand it any longer. A f te r she had gone, I understood that Qod had adozved her to sense this so that I zvould have no doubt, but that Hie zvas no less than miraculous(y keeping the knozvCedge o f this suffering from the zvhole community." (Diary, Notebook V, paras . 1428, 1430). 285