Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

atmosphere of the recen t months. Mentally relaxed, she began the re t re a t in a mood of profound peace and prayerfulness. The r e t re a t was being given by Rev. Edmund E lter S.J., a professor of ethics and la te r of homiletics and rhetoric a t th e Gregorian (Papal) University in Rome. He was an enlightened p ries t with an extensive and profound education both in the hum an ities and theo­ logy, and even in law, who had ju s t come from Rome to Poland. S is ter F au s tina listened to h is r e t re a t conferences in g re a t concentration, dea f to th e inv ita tions of some of the sisters to a chance of conversation. Nothing dis­ tu rbed h e r communion with the Lord. A day and a h a lf went by. As the hou r for confession drew nigh, h e r former sense of peace began to evapora­ te, and tension and res tlessness began to grow. A few hou rs before the time, h e r doubts re tu rn ed in full streng th . Her memory obsessively recalled all the negative and even doubting replies of h e r superiors and confessors. The behaviour of some of th e sisters , th e ir h in ts , and the particu larly sha rp and b ru ta l scolding given h e r recently in Warsaw , probably - for S ister F au s tina does not name nam es - by Mother Jan e Bartkiewicz, h e r former M istress of Pos tu lan ts , all now echoed through h e r aching head . Especially th e most recen t happening seemed to re tu rn as if lived through again: *One o f the Mothers, zvhen she [earned ahout my close relationship zaith the Lord [Jesus, told me that I must he deluding myself. She told me that the Lord Jesus asso­ ciates in this zvay only zvith the saints and not zirith s in fu l souls "like you, Sister!". Sifter that, it zoos as i f I mistrusted Jesus." (Diary, Notebook I, para . 29). 125