Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

S ister F au s tin a wen t with mixed feelings. She knew one thing: th a t in the in terio r confusion in which she had been living for the la s t two years she needed the special illum ination of the Holy Spirit, to perform a proper examination of h e r life h itherto , and to be able to in te rp re t the divine mission she had received and which she was ye t to p u t into practice. She prayed fervently to receive th is grace. Je su s did not leave h e r w ithout an answer. ' Jesus to ld me," writes S is te r Fau s tina , “that this retreat u>ouid be a little different from others, 'you shad strive to maintain a profound peace in respect to your communing zvith Ode. I zv ill remove a d doubts in this regard. I kjtozv that you are a t peace nozv as I speak, to you, but the moment that I stop talking you zv id start looking fo r doubts. ‘But I zvant you to knozv that I zvid affirm your sou l to such a degree that even i f you zvanted to be troubled, i t zv ill not be in your pozver. A nd as a proof that i t is I zvfto am speaking to you, you zvid go to confession on the second day o f the retreat to the priest zvho is preaching the retreat; you zv id g o to him as soon as he has fin ished his conference and zv id present to him a d your doubts concerning ‘Me. I zv id answer you through his Ups, and then your fears zv id end." (Diary, Notebook I, para. 169). This was the promise of g re a t grace and S ister F aus tina b rea thed a sign of relief. Je su s ’ promise th a t the m a tte r would be so soon clarified, the m a t te r th a t lay like a stone in h e r h e a r t and n igh tm arish ly suffo­ cated h e r whole religious life, th e m a t te r which had so far defied solution, freed w ithin h e r a former confidence and gave h e r fresh courage. This was the f irs t deep brea th in he r sp iritual life through the suffocating 124