George Matulaitis Journal

blood for You, down to the last drop; give up everything and anything, even life itself so that Your glory would increase and Your Church grow and prosper. Show me what to do, Lord! You have given me so many graces, O Lord. What can I give You in return? Everything that I have—but I have nothing of myself, only Your grace makes me rich. Still, all I have is Yours! If I may ask, Lord, let me be but a dishrag in your Church, a rag used to wipe up messes and then thrown away into some dark and dirty corner. I want to be used up and worn out in the same way so that your house may be a little cleaner and brighter. And afterwards, let me be thrown away like a dirty, worn-out dishrag. My God, let me be used in Your vineyard, in Your field as manure, as fertilizer, so that Your harvest would be richer and the fruit more abundant. Let me be despised, used up, and worn out so that Your glory may increase and so that I may be of some use to the growth of Your Church. Fool that I am, I do not know what to ask for! O God, grant that Your will be done in all things. Here I am, take me and do with me what You will; let me be a docile instrument in Your hands. May Your glory increase, may Your Kingdom grow, may Your will be done! Grant, that as I renounce myself more and more, I may love You more and more. Jesus, I love You and I desire to love You more. Let me grow in Your love. O Jesus, give me the strength and the courage never to give in to any hardship or adversity, never to give up the struggle so that Your name may be praised, so that Your Church may flourish. Grant that I may boldly venture into any place, get in everywhere, so long as there is a chance for me to work and to suffer for You. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I may do my best to carry it everywhere. I thank You, Lord, for having given me such extraordinary feelings of love for the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In the past I found this prayer difficult. But now, how sweet it is to fall at her feet and to immerse myself in prayer! Overwhelmed by these feelings of incomparable sweetness, my soul swoons and my body is filled with wondrous, incomprehensible, and inexpressible tremors. It is like the feeling I had when I pressed the holy cross to my heart. Thank You, Lord, for everything! O my God, my God, how I love You and long to love You! Only let me work and suffer for You and for Your holy Church and for its visible head, the Holy Father. May 60