Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

"I sha ll not bring any more shame upon h im ,” she afterwards said firmly to h e r sister. "I will make him p roud ." This re tu rn of Helenka’s to a more worldly life did no t mean th a t she had in fac t rejected h e r vocation. Rather, she was try ing to tu rn i t into ano ther channel. I t is tru e th a t she was try ing to ignore the voice in her soul urg ing h e r to choose th e convent, b u t a t th e same time she was carefully organizing h e r religious life. She wen t away to Lodz to look for a post, bu t wanted to choose h e r employers h e rse lf and with care. She f irs t stayed with a cousin of h e r fa th e r ’s who lived in Lodz with his family. He was called "Uncle" Rapacki, and while she was with them she looked for a household where th e faith was practised . She found a post with two Tertiaries . In her contract of work she required the r ig h t to a ttend Mass daily, th e possibility of an annua l re tre a t , and th e righ t to v is it the sick and those needing help. The idea of en tering a convent persisted, so w ithout h a s te she began to collect information and weigh up the possibilities. She asked for th e advice of her confessor, and also tru s ting ly told h e r secret to h e r uncle, requesting h is help. Her uncle, however, knowing th e views of h e r paren ts , tried to dissuade her. There seemed no th ing b u t difficulties in h e r path . Helenka appeared resigned to th is and expected to live in the world, though with an in te rio r reservation about doing so. The Helenka of the Lodz period is well described in the b rie f recollections of one of h e r employers, Mrs Sadowska: "Pleasant, polite, hard-working. I cannot say any th ing against her, because she was almost too good. She was so good there are no words to describe it. When she and I went shopping in town, she would take the shopping bag from me, but I wouldn’t give it to her to carry because she was weak - she was always fasting. I would snatch the bag from her, and 37