Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

not know why I f e e t so terribly unw ed in the morning; I have to muster atI my strength to ge t out o f bed, sometimes even to the point o f heroism. (Zi he thought o f Odoly Communion gives me hack, a little more strength. Find so, the day starts zvith a struggle and ends zvith a struggle. "When I go to take my rest, I f e e l like a soldier returning from the battlefield.“ (Diary, Notebook IV, para. 1310). S is te r F au s tin a harbou red h e r s treng th as she could, depending on w ha t th e day brought. Days could vary. She limited w ha t she a te to the m inimum , no t only to avid th e suffering she would afterw ards endure, b u t also no t to d is tu rb others in the nigh t, for she was no t always successful in not waking those with her. So now not ju s t the progressive illness, b u t also m a lnu trition was destroying her. Despite th is , she tried to carry on with he r everyday life. She was now so th in and changed by the disease th a t she was painful to con­ template, and she even began to cause an tipa thy in certain individuals; S ister K. adm its, "I met S ister Faustina in Cracow in 1938 in April. I t was a t lunch. We were s itting a t the same table. She was already so ill and changed that I d id not know her. Her looks made a very pa in fu l impression on me, for she was very th in and ugly. I thought to m yse lf tha t they should not p u t such a sick sister at a common table." (Archives of S.F., Recollections). Here it is necessary to re tu rn to w ha t I have previou­ sly discussed when dealing with th e t re a tm en t of S ister F au s tina in hospital: th e varie ty of h e r ailments. They still cannot all be ascribed to h e r illness. J u s t as in the hospital the doctors were a t a loss to explain sometimes incomprehensible, severe symptoms of suffering, so too 287