Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

to suffer, and in one moment the whole passion unfoCded i tse l f Before my eyes. f ir s t ly , my intentions zvid not Be recognized; there zvid Be a d hinds o f suspicion and distrust as w ed as various hinds o f humiliations and adversities. I zv id not mention everything here. A d these things stood Before my souC's eye life. a d a r f storm from which lightning was ready to s tr ife a t any moment, waiting only f o r my consent. I f or a moment, my nature was frightened. ‘Then suddenly the dinner Bed rang. I left the chapel, trembling and undecided. 'But the sacrifice was ever present Before me, fo r I had neither decided to accept it, nor had I refused the Lord. I wan ted to place myself completely in Blis zvid. I f the Lord Jesus himself were to impose it on me, I was ready. B u t Jesus gave me to hnow that I myself was to give my free consent and accept i t zvith f u d consciousness, or else it wou ld Be meaningless. I ts whole power was contained in my free act Before Qod. B u t a t the same time, Jesus gave me to understand that the decision was completely zvithin my power, I could do it or not do it. A n d so I then answered immediately, ‘Jesus, I accept everything that 'You zvish to send me; I trust in Your goodness.' A t that moment, I f e l t that By this act I glorified Qod greatly. B u t I armed myself zvith patience. A s soon as I le ft the chapel, I had an encounter zvith reality. I do not wan t to describe the details, But there was as much o f i t as I was able to Bear. I wou ld not have Been able to Bear even one drop more.1 (Diary, Notebook I, para . 190). Once unde rtaken , th e sacrifice multiplied w ith S ister F au s tin a like th e bread in th e hand s of the Lord. She took more and more in itia tives . H er well-developed 179