Sister Faustina Kowalska: Her LIfe and MIssion

emotional outlets, nor did she even feel the need to be understood or to confide. She told everything to God, and expected an answer and an explanation for the problems bese tting her. Th is can be clearly shown: all reminiscences uniformly declare th a t Helenka, la te r to become Sister Faus tina , did no t recall injury done to h e r by others and rem ained calm even with those who annoyed her greatly. At the same time, as h e r diary shows, she had grudges aga in s t them , b u t she took these to Je su s in h e r pain, only to Him, and He gradually erased a grudging memory from h e r soul transform ing i t into magnanim ity, while He tau g h t h e r to t re a t tr ia ls as of positive value, from which she was to learn love of one’s neighbour by experience, a tru e disinterested and self-sacrificing love. This close communion w ith God is th e core of he r life. There is, i t is true , a certa in hes ita tion on the question of the choice of h e r p a th in life: whether to en te r a convent or to remain in the world. This how­ ever was caused only by ex terna l factors: th e lack of permission from h e r pa ren ts , and it does no t change the fac t th a t God remained h e r one g rea t love. Nevertheless she loved h e r family too, and was openheartedly kind to all whom she knew. I t appears even th a t she longed for closer contact w ith people. T h a t singular experience which totally absorbed her, love which by its n a tu re cannot be selfish nor even selfcentred, overflowed in h e r into a n a tu ra l wish to embrace her whole environment. This was hidden in the discreet silence she in fac t imposed on herself, bu t i t shone through h e r whole being, emerging indirectly: from h e r deportment, from facial expressions, from h e r behaviour and from h e r in te re s ts and w ha t she focused he r a tten tion upon. "There was something intangible in her which radiated from her person, which sometimes other sisters felt. I t was something positive, which, however, d id not always meet w ith comprehension," said he r superior in Vilnius. 12