Get to know the Diary of… Saint Faustina Kowalska “Go out into the whole world and teach in My Name.” A certain person came to the door today and asked to be admitted as one of our students. But she could not be admitted. She was in great need of our house. During the conversation which I had with her, the Passion of Jesus was renewed in me. When she had gone, I undertook one of the severest mortifications. Nevertheless, the next time I will not let such a soul get away. For three days I suffered much on her account. How much I regret that our institutions are so small and that they cannot accommodate a greater number of souls. My Jesus, You know how much I grieve over every straying sheep.... When I fell sick [probably the beginning of consumption] after my first vows and when, despite the kind and solicitous care of my Superiors and the efforts of the doctor, I felt neither better nor worse, remarks began to reach my ears which inferred that I was making believe, With that, my suffering was doubled, and this lasted for quite a long time. One day I complained to Jesus that I was being a burden to the sisters. Jesus answered me, You are not living for yourself but for souls, and other souls will profit from your sufferings. Your prolonged suffering will give them the light and strength to accept My will. The priest spoke these profound words to me, “There are three degrees in the accomplishment of God’s will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes pertaining to external observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as, He pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands.” And the priest said that I was at the second degree in the accomplishment of God’s will and that I had not yet reached the third degree, but that I should strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in the depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has such chosen persons. During a meditation on humility, an old doubt returned: that a soul as miserable as mine could not carry out the task which the Lord was demanding [of me]. Just as I was analyzing this doubt, the priest who was conducting the retreat interrupted his train of thought and spoke about the very thing I was having doubts about; namely, that God usually chooses the weakest and simplest souls as tools for His greatest works; that we can see that this is an undeniable truth when we look at the men He chose to be His apostles; or again, when we look at the history of the Church and see what great works were done by souls that were the least capable of accomplishing them; for it is just in this way that God’s works are revealed for what they are, the works of God. When my doubt had completely disappeared, the priest resumed his conference on humility.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MjI2Mw==