get up from the ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. Suddenly I saw the Lord interiorly, and He said to me, Fear not, My daughter; I am with you. In that single moment, all the darkness and torments vanished, my senses were inundated with unspeakable joy, [and] the faculties of my soul filled with light. However, in all these sufferings and struggles, I was not omitting Holy Communion. When it seemed to me that I should not communicate, I went, before Holy Communion, to the Directress and told her that I could not approach the Sacrament, because it seemed to me that I should not do so. But she would not permit me to omit Holy Communion, so I went, and I understand now that it was only obedience that saved me. The Directress herself told me later that my trials had passed quickly, “and this solely because you were obedient, Sister; and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely.” It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please Him. July 9, 1937. This evening, one of the deceased sisters came and asked me for one day of fasting and to offer all my [spiritual] exercises on that day for her. I answered that I would. Immediately after Holy Mass, I asked Mother Superior’s permission to fast, but I did not receive it because of my illness. When I entered the chapel, I heard these words: “If you had fasted, Sister, I would not have gotten relief until the evening, but for the sake of your obedience, which prevented you from fasting, I obtained this relief at once. Obedience has great power.” After these words I heard: “May God reward you.” One of the sisters came into my cell for a little while. After a short conversation on the subject of obedience, she said to me, “Oh, now I understand how the saints acted. Thank you, Sister; a great light has entered my soul; I have profited much.” O my Love, my eternal Master, how good it is to obey; because when obedience infuses the soul, it brings with it power and strength to act. February 2, [1936]. In the morning, when the bell awoke me, I was so overcome by drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into cold water, and after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to meditation a host of absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I had to struggle throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer time, but when Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest Treasure, and She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant Jesus in my arms, the Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone with the Infant Jesus. I said to Him, “I know that You are my Lord and Creator even though You are so tiny. “Jesus stretched His little arms out to me and looked at me with a smile. My spirit was filled with incomparable joy. Then suddenly Jesus disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. I went with the other sisters to the Holy Table, my soul deeply moved. After Holy Communion, I heard these words in my soul: I am in your heart, I whom you had in your arms. I then pleaded with Jesus for a certain soul [Father Sopocko], asking the Lord to grant him the grace to fight, and to take this trial from him. As you ask, so shall it be, but his merit will not be lessened. Joy reigned in my soul that God is so good and merciful; God grants everything that we ask of Him with trust. After each conversation with the Lord, my soul is extraordinarily strengthened, and a profound tranquility prevails therein and gives me such courage that I do not fear anything in the world, but fear only lest I make Jesus sad. During the night, the Mother of God visited me, holding the Infant Jesus in Her arms. My soul was filled with joy,… Diary excerpt 677, 1745; 1123, excerpt 102; 103-105, excerpt 1185; 1187, 1594, 1686, 609-610, excerpt 25
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