First, we are given a comprehensive list of marital vows to help map the terrain. Next, we have saints who were married to serve as guides and encouragement along the way. Finally, the Church extends the sacramental grace that will help us continue on when we are weak. First Gift: Our Marital Vows I have been to several weddings with unique vows, often written by the bride and groom themselves. These can be sweet, but they are often vague (“I promise to cherish you.”), impossible to keep (“I vow to always make you happy.”), or just plain silly and irreverent to the monumental undertaking of marriage (“I promise not to hog the covers.”). When we hear the familiar vows of a Catholic wedding ceremony, though, we have confidence that all the meaningful aspects of marital love have been covered, and that the whole Church bears witness to exactly what the couple has promised one another. The Church has truly given us a gift in our marriage vows. The “job description” for a spouse striving to have a holy union is provided to us so that we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. If you want to be a better husband or wife today, find a new way to love your spouse freely, fully, faithfully, and fruitfully; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; until death parts you. Second Gift: Married Saints It can be inspiring and encouraging to find individuals within the diverse Communion of Saints that we connect with in specific ways. As husbands and wives, we can imitate the married saints, knowing that imitating them will ultimately mean imitating Jesus. All the saints share God’s deepest desire: that we would all be together as a family in Heaven. Married saints offer their lives and marriages as examples for us, and they are ready and willing to pray for us on our own spiritual journeys. The saints we meet in my book from Marian Press, Holier Matrimony: Married Saints, Catholic Vows, and Sacramental Grace, had more in common than just being married, and their commonalities are noteworthy if we want to live like them. These saints had daily prayer routines, studied Scripture, and participated in the liturgical practices of their day. They built strong sacramental lives because they thirsted for more grace. They knew that God’s grace would empower them to grow in virtue and fortify their marriages. The desire to reach out to the poor, sick, and needy is deeply evident in all their lives. Additionally, they all took on voluntary sacrifices and mortifications. Smaller acts of self-denial gave the saints mastery over themselves and prepared them to be faithful to God when larger sacrifices were asked of them. All these common practices resulted in a general aura of peace around each of our holy role models. Though each of them faced trials, even as painful as the death of children or their own martyrdom, the constant faith of the married saints protected the peace of Christ they held in their hearts. If we adopt some of their habits, we, too, can hope to see this peace abide in our own hearts and homes. Third Gift: Marital Grace Marriage is too hard for us to do well by our own power, but thankfully we can fall back on marital grace when the going gets tough. In the very Sacrament that made us husbands and wives, we received the graces that will help us become saints by this vocation. The specific graces communicated in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony strengthen us “to love sacrificially, to bear wrongs, to forgive offenses, to be chaste, to welcome and educate children, and perhaps even to die in the service of one’s family.” Marital grace will supercharge us on our paths to sainthood. All we have to do is cooperate with this grace by removing barriers to its flow within our lives and marriages. This means frequenting Confession and cutting out unhealthy attachments to sin and material goods. Then, we can call on God to get us through tough times by means of the grace He bestowed upon us on our wedding day. (Try one of the short prayers sprinkled throughout my book!) For His first public miracle, Jesus blessed the married couple at Cana with gallons upon gallons of the choicest wine. In the same way, He continues to offer superabundant grace to bless our marriages. As long as we keep it flowing, sacramental grace will never run out on us. The Holy Spirit, the Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us (#1624), is “the ever-available source of [our] love and the strength to renew [our] fidelity” to our spouses, until death do us part. Excerpted from Holier Matrimony: Married Saints, Catholic Vows, and Sacramental Grace (B64-HLMY) by Caitrin Bennett, published by Marian Press and available on ShopMercy.org/b64 or call 1-800-462-7426. ‘Married saints offer their lives and marriages as examples for us, and they are ready and willing to pray for us on our own spiritual journeys.’ Marian Helper • Winter 2024-25 • Marian.org 23
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