Marian Helper Winter 2015-2016

M arian H elper • W inter 2015-16 •  marian.org 17 M y wife’s name, Amparo, means “protection,” which is appropri- ate. She’s a protector of the faith in our home and, as such, a protector of our family. We were married 39 years ago in Chihuahua, Mexico, a place we left 12 years ago to seek better opportunities in the United States. Through our nearly four decades of marriage, we have found that, through life’s difficulties, praying is sometimes a little easier than hoping. It is through our prayers that Amparo and I have lasted these near 40 years. Our marriage has had equal parts of joy and hardship. In 1985, after nine years of trying to conceive, Amparo and I were devastated when we lost our twin baby girls two days after they were born. It was the most painful experience of our lives. After that, Amparo asked me to start going to Mass with her. I was raised Catholic, but I had fallen away from the Church. Eager to make her happy and to become closer to God, I agreed. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. At this time, while still in Mexico, she became interest- ed in pottery. I was eager to make Amparo happy again, so I built her a studio. To our surprise, I took an interest in pottery and ceramics as well. Today, we share both a passion for art and an art business itself. Three years after starting our business, Amparo gave birth to our first son, who was followed by two more sons a few years apart. We raised our sons in Mexico for a time, but I began to worry about how the perva- sive chaos there would affect my family. Through my work, I was familiar with the U.S. and, envisioning a better life for us, I decided to start a new business in Mesa, Arizona. By and large, our family adapted well to the move and has assimilated into U.S. culture. But life has not always been easy. When we moved here, we got caught in the middle of a political storm. New, stricter immigration laws fueled an anti-immigrant sentiment. As entrepre- neurs, we didn’t have any trouble with our business, but as persons, we were not always welcome. The rare occasions when we would slide into speaking our native Spanish were sometimes met with negative reactions — as if the listener had been stung by a bee. Today, we hear the disparagement of Mexican immigrants, partic- ularly in the political realm and, yes, it’s heartbreaking. We are not strangers to harassment and bigotry. But when we are faced with it, we remember we rely on the Lord and each other. We have been blessed with three clever, talented, and independent sons, all of whom we love and thank God for. As time passes and our family grows, we have more and more that we are grateful for. We recently became grandparents. But as it is with all families, life is not perfect. We struggle. When our sons need us, Amparo and I don’t always agree on how to help them. Sometimes we argue. But at the end of the day, we pray together before we fall asleep and remember that we’re in this together. Amparo is a wife in the best sense of the word. She is a wife in the sense of wisdom, as we understand the wisdom that comes from the Holy Spirit. Like the Holy Spirit, she keeps me focused on the truth — the real- ity that God is present in our lives. And I am always amazed by her readiness to forgive and her willingness to love. Amparo and I were raised in a traditional society where we were expected to get married and stay mar- ried. But society’s view of matrimony has changed. We’ve noticed it as well in the northern part of Mexico, closer to the border — young people aren’t getting mar- ried and couples are separating or getting divorced. If I could give advice to married couples it is this: As hard as it can be to hope, look to each other and to God. Pray together for each other’s happiness. We are witnesses to the fact that, without God’s help, we would be in the dark. But with it, we can overcome the difficulties that life brings, strengthening both our bond with each other and our relationship with God, our Protector. Fernando Pinal lives in Mesa, Arizona. PRAY FOR EACH OTHER’S HAPPINESS By Fernando Pinal F amily matters — the story of a husband MH