895 apologia for his departure from the order of pious schools account of the many reasons presented [above] — and that the cruelty of the Provincial was praised, while my innocence was condemned. Oh God, who judges justly, witness this and forgive nonetheless. Third Cause: Love 47. The teachers of natural law are of the opinion that it belongs to love to even sacrifice one’s life for the common good if there is no other way to protect or preserve it.189 What was I to do when I was proclaimed as a firebrand, an instigator, a betrayer of the Congregation,190 to preserve my peace of conscience? I still declare, that [in no way] do I admit that I stirred up any turmoil in the Congregation of Pious Schools, and even more so, that any [accusation of ] betrayal be brought against me. Inspired by proper zeal, in every way possible, I opposed the relaxation [introduced] into our Province. I also firmly and loudly protested when I saw something illegal, against the Statutes of the Congregation, the papal decrees, as well as the holy Councils, just as the Provincial himself admits — although he used therein the double-meaning of the word — in the testimony given to me by a decree of the Most Distinguished and Most Reverend Apostolic Nuncio, that he finally acknowledged that I was innocent.191 Indeed, that I plotted some machinations with fellow members of the house or with those outside, no one — with a peaceful conscience — can either accuse [me of ] or prove. 48. Although I considered that I am neither a firebrand nor an instigator nor a betrayer, nevertheless — surmising that on my account such disturbances arose — whereas those illdisposed [toward me] arose and conspired my destruction and 189 Cf. SH, p. 66, n. 147. 190 Cf. SH, p. 67, n. 148. 191 Father Papczyński apparently describes the words of testimony issued to him July 20 by Provincial Opatowski: “Zeli potius cuiusdam, quam turbationem fuisse animadverti” ("I noticed there to have been a certain zeal, rather than incitement"). Positio, p. 143.
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