examination of the heart 492 The second one is: obey lovingly. Find out from yourself, if you were obedient to your Superiors out of the pure love of God and your neighbor and respect for obedience, and not from some other consideration, namely: out of hope for a vain praise or a temporal gratification, as if they were the motive for your vow of obedience. The third one is: obey promptly. Check your conscience whether you obeyed quickly, without being repeatedly told, pressed, or additionally motivated. For you should remind yourself what the vow of obedience obliges you to, namely: upon hearing the community signal, to leave unfinished the letter you had begun. Think whether you did at any time what is required of you by law for the perfection and the crown of obedience. 2. Consider the remaining points of obedience. Firstly: did you display obedience constantly without discontinuing the already-started works, being overcome by reluctance, weariness, or instigation of an evil spirit or, perchance, some other illegitimate reason drew you away from obeying? Did you suppress the grumbles of dissatisfaction arising in you and not let them overcome you? As to the second point regarding the obedience, check if you obeyed bravely, that is, if you applied your spirit to doing harsh and difficult things, and even more willingly so, in case of matters imposed upon you out of obedience; did you ever shrink and excuse yourself from undertaking hard things without any sufficiently important reason for opposing and resisting the spirit of obedience? Finally, consider this last point: have you faithfully persevered and persisted once you have begun and until now in the exercise of this virtue? It is not up to you to investigate and examine why you had to be subordinated to somebody; yet, you ought to recognize your defects of obedience, identify, [f.163r] remove, grieve and atone for them. 3. Consider that those souls are happy, who embrace willingly the sweetest yoke of obedience. For to obey is to fly with someone else’s wings; to lean on another’s shoulder; to be carried
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