examination of the heart 490 your enemies will accuse you particularly before God, the highest Judge, in regard to things that you willingly vowed, submit your vows to a proper and careful examination and see how resolute you have been. To begin, examine your obedience, the mother of virtues, on which the other two vows depend. Therefore, first recall to your mind whether you obeyed your Superiors, God’s commandments, and rules promptly, cheerfully, completely, and steadfastly? Did you not grumble sometimes? Did you not resist? Be convinced that a lack of obedience is certainly the greatest of all faults: recall that Saul was rejected because of the lack of obedience (cf. 1 Sam 15:22-23). The people of Israel were called and regarded as stiff-necked people, and they were very nearly cast off, if only Moses, their most humble leader (cf. Num 12:3), would have consented to it (cf. Ex 32:9-14; 33:3-5). Finally, consider that affirmation of the Divine Spirit: “Obedience is better than sacrifices” (1 Sam 15:22) [DRB]. Giving us the reasoning, the Roman Doctor says: “Because another’s flesh is slain through sacrifices, but one’s own will is slain through obedience.”239 2. Ponder whether out of love for this virtue you have sometimes bravely undertaken things contrary and naturally opposed to your disposition; or rather, have you desisted from them out of negligence? For “to the victor is given the manna” (cf. Rev 2:17). If you do not overcome yourself in anything, know that no laurel crown is in store for you, no reward of the subjugated and conquered self-will is assigned to you. Indeed, if you realize that you still did exercise any act of obedience, know that you did not merit anything, you are not yet destined to Heaven, and your beatitude is still uncertain, although you have entered the Order to obtain it. For only the obedient man receives Heaven by 239 Gregorius Magnus, Moralium Libri: Expositio Librium B. Job — Liber XXXV (Job XLII, 11), in: PL, vol. 76, Ateliers catholiques du Petit-Montrouge, Paris 1857, p. 765 (nn. 1155-1156).
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