453 part ii: meditations for more solemn feasts communal exercises: for example, from prayers, from conferences, or the declaration of faults.221 This gives rise to the dryness of spirit in you, out of which comes the darkness of ignorance, out of which flow the waves of improper thoughts. Wherefore, correct this failing, so that you may avoid such a misfortune and not nearly fall into despair on account of seeking to recover the grace of devotion and getting rid of your imperfections. Try to be present at the communal exercises, and together with the king-psalmist, pray to the Lord today: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” (Ps 51:12). 2. “Unless I see in [H]is hands the print of the nails” (Jn 20:25). Consider that Divine Providence willed, as Gregory the Great teaches, that “this [f.145v] disciple;” namely, St. Thomas, “was absent then: that whereas coming later he heard, that hearing he doubted, that doubting he touched, and touching he believed.” For, indeed, by this means, every reason for incredulity was overcome for us “[b]ecause when he was led back to belief by touching, our minds were relieved of all doubt and made firm in faith.”222 Do not be afraid to reveal your doubts to others more experienced than you, and to get advised either by them or by God Himself. This way you not only do good service to your salvation and obtain experience, but through your doubting and exploring the truth, you may at some point bring great benefit to others. 3. “I will not believe” (Jn 20:25). Consider, that this audacious way of the Apostle’s saying: “I will not believe,” did not please the Lord, and therefore the Lord 221 This proclamation of faults took place in the “chapter of faults” (capitulum culparum), which was prescribed both for Marians (RL, p. 78 (Ch. IX, § 3)) and for Piarists (ConstSP, P. I, Ch. XI, nn. I-II). The faults that were “confessed” in the “chapter of faults” before the entire community, were faults which an individual religious had made in the external forum (i.e., public transgressions against the Rule) and not sins regarding the internal forum. 222 Cf. Gregorius Magnus, XL Homiliarum in Evangelia: Liber II — Homilia XXVI (Joan. XX, 19-31), in: PL, vol. 76, Ateliers catholiques du Petit-Montrouge, Paris 1857, p. 1201 (n. 1556). Cf. GFGH, pp. 206-207 (Homily 26). Cf. LHE, vol. III, pp. 1516-1517 (July 3 —Thomas, Apostle: Office of Readings). Cf. Jn 20:19-31.
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