examination of the heart 408 Antioch speaks about himself: “I am Christ’s wheat, [and] shall be ground by the teeth of the wild beasts, so that I may become [Christ’s] pure bread.”193 As for you, approaching the sacred table, request from the Lamb, slain for you, that He gives you the grace and strength to suffer for His Name and to endure bravely daily adversities. 2. “He that loves his life, shall lose it” (Jn 12:25). To love life means to follow one’s feelings, to indulge one’s pleasures, and to care for one’s self only. Oh, how long I took to wake up! Although I am a religious, the road I follow is not all that dissimilar. Under my praiseworthy garb I carry a vain name and, after so many years of being exercised in the school of virtues, I only now begin to be a religious! Do not be so foolish as to destroy yourself, my soul; you will surely do so, if you continue loving yourself. Why do you not ask to obtain death today from Jesus the Life, and why do you not begin to die spiritually, so that you may live forever? 3. “He that hates his life in this world keeps it to life eternal” (Jn 12:25). Consider that the salutary hatred of life does not only consist of somebody’s laying down his life for the faith, for God’s worship, or for some virtue; but it also consists of bearing with a serene spirit the internal afflictions, scruples, fears, anxieties and temptations, and not consenting to any obvious evil. Thus, treating one’s life with this kind of “hatred,” one shall save it. Removing from the soul such things that please it, but harm or scandalize a neighbor, offend God, and endanger one’s salvation means hating our life prudently, that is, saving it. Examine yourself, whether at any time you carried on anything of this kind? And looking with admiration at this very holy 193 Cf. Ignatius Antiochenus, Prolegomena — Veterum Testimonia de S. Ignatii Epistolis: Hieronymus, lib. De viris illustribus (cap. 16), in: PG, vol. 5, Ateliers catholiques du Petit-Montrouge, Paris 1857, p. 15 (VII). Cf. St. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to the Romans, in: LHE, vol. IV, p. 1490 (Oct. 17 — Ignatius of Antioch, Bishop and Martyr: Office of Readings): “I am God’s wheat and shall be ground by their teeth so that I may become Christ’s pure bread.”
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