George Matulaitis Journal

Lord, grant me the grace to cut all ties that bind me to this world, to give up all earthly trifles, to become free of all worldly longings and desires, all earthly plans and pursuits so that I could boldly say: there is nothing that I fear in this world but You, my Lord, my God and Creator—I am afraid of pleasing You less than I am able, of doing less for Your glory than it is in my power, aided by Your grace, to accomplish. But I have wandered away from the thought I meant to write down—one based on my own and on other people’s experience. It is this: very often a person feels the need to begin living a more spiritual life, to join with others by becoming part of a religious community. This person would gladly do so, but all kinds of obstacles loom before his eyes: his debts, his friends and relations, all sorts of unfinished business. So many things tie a person down. If he begins by trying to free himself of all these difficulties and then resolves to make his decision about entering the religious community once he is free, it is unlikely that he will ever take the step. He will become so entangled and bogged down by all those difficulties that he will be paralyzed by them. The thing to do is to utter that most powerful word which will stir your whole being: I want to enter this religious community, and I shall do so. Then, if you can, make some kind of commitment to the comm- nity in question. After that you can go about resolving the difficulties as quickly as possible. For if you have a genuinely strong desire, you will find a way to settle your debts, to take leave of your relatives, to ignore the gossip of your friends and acquaintances, to stop worrying about the fate of the projects you have begun and left unfinished. It is even worse if we start imagining all kinds of probable and improbable difficulties. What monster does our imagination not create and fashion for us! What will happen if I get sick? What will happen if one of my relatives or my parents get sick? What will happen if I am found out by the authorities? What if I am imprisoned or exiled, and so on? Here too you must say to yourself: do I want to be a good religious or not? Then boldly follow the path that God is showing you and after that see what you can do about eliminating or getting around the obstacles. After all, if God allows misfortune to befall us, He will also help us endure it or show us how to overcome it. Whoever wishes 39