George Matulaitis Journal

132 glory of God does not demand that we draw attention to our work, it is better to work quietly. When there is a lot of noise, it is more difficult to work peacefully and one does not accomplish as much. “Your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you” (Mt 6:18). April 5 Considerable time has passed since we made our three-day retreat before renewing our vows, and I have not yet had an opportunity to set down my resolutions. My Lord and my God, I offer You my work, troubles, worries, all my sufferings, trials, and crosses. Grant, O God, that for You and for Your Church I may work, labor, and suffer yet more. Grant that I may be con- sumed, like the candle on the altar, by the heat of labor and the fire of love for You and for Your Church. Thank you, Lord, for having delivered me from this world, where I wandered about aimlessly and perhaps even misled others. It was all due to what I thought was true zeal. Correct what I have done wrong, Lord. I am grateful for all the graces You have given me. How generous You are, Lord. How abundantly You distribute Your graces to us, poor creatures. My God, my God how sweet it is to serve You. What will Your heaven be like if You fill a person’s soul with such sweetness here on earth, passing through the body with such holy tremors and transporting it into the third heaven. 1 The heart melts in ecstasy, the lips are dumb, the eyes darken, hands and feet are numb, and the whole body is over- whelmed by waves of mysterious tremors. And the soul, the soul is sub- merged in You. If it were not for Your greatness, it seems a person could die of all this sweetness and love. “Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful man” (Lk 5:8). “I am not worthy … just give the word” (Mt 8:8). “Who is like Yahweh, our God? … He raises the poor from the dust” (Ps 112/113: 5,7). My resolutions are the following: 1. to work harder and to make good use of every moment: to start working immediately, to avoid useless thoughts and distractions while working, to keep before me 1 Cf., 2 Cor 12:2 where St. Paul describes his ecstasy.