George Matulaitis Journal

127 1913 Difficulties with the administration and faculty of the university continued. Matulaitis made the rounds of various persons in authority and finally had to appeal to the bishop. He presented his credentials and documents, explaining that the group was a religious community approved by Rome. The reason for all this secrecy was to conceal the members from the scrutiny of the Russian government, which could prevent them from returning to work in lands ruled by Russia. Matulaitis was also receiving a good deal of criticism from former friends and colleagues who thought his efforts to revive the Marians an unrealistic dream. Still, the little community was struggling along, its numbers and spirit growing steadily in spite of all the hardships. January 6 Yesterday was my monthly day of recollection. The holy days themselves, the meditations on the Child Jesus lifted my heart to God. It overflowed with holy affections. Once again I examined my life. On all sides I see how very corrupt my human nature is, Lord. Such weakness. So many mistakes and imperfections. I would fall into despair, if I did not trust so completely in your infinite mercy. I can see, Lord, how your abundant graces, flowing like the waters of a stream, constantly wash and purify my soul of the dust of its imperfections and the dirt of its transgressions. Thank you for this, O merciful God! This past month I have been tormented most of all by my imagination and distracting thoughts. I did not control them well enough. So often some pressing matter would come up and immediately take hold of me, tossing me about and carrying my thoughts in all directions and thus distracting me from my work. And also, although I was doing my work, it was not organized properly. Therefore, with the help of God, this month I am determined to avoid disorder in my work and to exercise greater control over my thoughts and