44 Sources: Letter of Fr. V. Sękowski to Fr. G. Matulewicz, in which he asked if there was any hope for reopening the monastery, Marijampole, April 24, 1909 Reverend Father Professor! Having no news from anywhere about our concern, I am forced to write you at least a few words, asking what is happening? Is there any spark of hope, or do I give up and prepare two coffins: one for myself and the other for the Congregation? I did not leave my cell nearly the entire winter, I have been bedridden for 10 weeks and as a result I lost my energy and – speaking from a human point of view – became a little overwhelmed by despair. The very uncertainty of my situation weakens me, although I do not succumb to these dark thoughts. What scares me the most is the thought that perhaps I am the main cause of the fall of the Congregation and I dare to plead God in my unworthy prayers, “if I do not deserve that this Congregation should arise in my life, let someone else fight these nearly unbeatable problems”. I started going to church since March 4, where I assist with hearing confessions and this sustains me, but I cannot visit the sick people and am unable to deal with other business that require some effort. I amwaiting for your reply, Reverend Professor, if only to decide what to do with myself, because these dreams have tired [me out] enough. There is nothing new around here, except probably the threat of hunger in our area, for people have no bread for themselves nor fodder for cattle, while the cold destroys the crops. There is not a single flower in sight, not a single tree in bloom. Should the cold weather continue, there will be no rye, wheat or clover, but all is in God’s hands. I apologize for bothering you, Reverend Professor, and for interrupting your arduous work. Please accept my heartfelt wishes on the occasion of our Name’s Day for all the graces of Heaven. Your servant, Fr. V. Sękowski, a Marian
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